Posts Tagged ‘gaming’

sextingSexting.  I just don’t get it. It makes about as much sense to me as sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman at a movie theatre.   Call me spoiled but I discovered streaming video on the internet a long time ago so I don’t think a few dirty words with a hash tag is gonna stiffen my putter.

Of course we’re talking about this nonsense again because Anthony Weiner is back at his old tricks again but he takes it to a different level by including a picture of his junk.   There are a lot of check points this process has to go through before one hits send and I shudder in confusion that his “idea” passed through all of them.

The penis is not pretty.  It kind of looks like an index finger missing a nail.  There is a reason why it is kept beneath underwear and pants AND a zipper to keep it from public viewing.  The only time it should be illuminated is when you are using it for waste removal purposes behind a closed-door otherwise the penis is meant to be nocturnal.

Let’s review the process that Anthony Weiner must have gone through to sext a picture of his manhood:  1)  Drop pants and expose penis  2) Grab iPhone and focus on the “subject”  3) Take a few pictures of your penis to get the “right one”  4)  Maybe Instagram it a bit for effect  5) Hit send.

At what point during this process does “BAD IDEA” enter into one’s mind?  Apparently with Anthony Weiner this never happened and he just sat there waiting for a reply.  That to me is the along the same line as a guy being naked and playing with puppets….it’s FREAKING creepy!!

So the next time ya get pissed at a friend for texting you a picture of some crappy salad they made with feta cheese on top….just remember…it could be worse.

ClownBoss1Meetings.  I really believe we have too many.  Meeting to prepare for meetings make me crazy.  Don’t get me wrong I value the importance of a meeting that is truly needed but some of the stuff that comes out of a meeting leaves me more confused and detached than before the meeting.  Sometimes a meeting isn’t a meeting at all it’s just a get together where you are being told what to do.

I remember a meeting a bunch of us had many years ago where the General Manager had promised the services and support of my morning show as a favor to their church.  We were informed that the show would camp out in a tent with a bunch of other people to raise awareness and dollars to the homeless.  This meeting was not a “brainstorming session” it was basically held to be given our marching orders.

I am all for serving the public.  I like to help people but I also think you need to focus on your brand and serve your target demo.  When you say the word “homeless” I think many people think of someone hairy, dirty, sleeping in a box and smelling like urine.  While that may be unfair I do think it’s accurate.

My suggestion was to do a benefit that touches the female demo:  raise money for shelters for abused women, help for terminally ill children, etc.  At that point the General Manager uttered this golden nugget, “This is not about the bad homeless, this is about the good homeless.”   I was stunned.  The good homeless?  Perhaps this is something I did not know about.  They have classified the homeless.  Evidently Home Security waits until we are asleep and then covertly brands the homeless with bar codes to separate them into two categories:  good and bad.  The next time you are tempted to make a donation while stopped at a light I think you should demand that the individual fold back his ear so you can see the aforementioned bar code to know if you are giving to the good or the bad homeless.  You can easily download the app on your smart phone to make this process an easy one.

I’d tell ya more but I’m late for a meeting……

 

DANNY CZEKALINSKI hosts a weekly internet radio show on mysourceradio.com       Show archives can be heard HERE

question markLife is strange…I think we all can agree on that but there are things that perplex me on a daily basis.  Why do people watch “Real Housewives” when there isn’t anything real about them at all?   If I call information for a number to call “Ghostbusters” how come they don’t have a number.   If someone doesn’t believe that aliens truly exist have they ever seen a picture of Larry King?  Why do people expect sports and entertainment stars to be role models–isn’t that the job of a parent?

Why do some people still judge a person based on their religious beliefs or skin color–doesn’t character come into consideration?  Why are people taken aback when you use the words “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re welcome?”   Can a real man play Monopoly and still choose the thimble as his game piece?  How come I still have flash backs to being in 6th grade gym class when I couldn’t climb the rope?

Am I the only person that doesn’t answer their cell phone but just uses it to text?  How come they allow Donald Duck to walk around Disney World not wearing pants?  What would happen if I went back to my high school and asked to see my “permanent record?”  When will people realize that fish are not pets…they are food.  Karaoke should be called “A Night For People That Can’t Sing.”  Do Japanese people think that any product labeled “Made in USA” is cheap and will probably break?  How come a cat is the only animal that poops in a box?  How come I don’t break into spontaneous laughter after eating a “Snickers” bar?

If you can answer any of these questions for me then I would appreciate it and if you also think of any of these queries of life…then I will reserve you some space in my rubber room.

 

 

datingI don’t date and I do it by choice.  The last time I was on a date was October 23, 2011.  The world is one big bowl of nuts and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m probably the walnut but I have figured out there are three types of women that I would avoid at all costs.  In no particular order here are the signs:

YOU KNOW THE NAME OF AT LEAST ONE “REAL HOUSEWIFE”:  There is nothing “real” about any of these whack jobs.  Watching this show is like making a visit to the local mental ward to observe the patients to feel good about yourself.  If ya wanna live in fantasy land then dress up like Captain America and go to a comic book convention.

YOU THINK FISH ARE PETS:  Let me break the news to ya Moby Dick….anything you can eat is NOT a pet.  Fish are a meal.  Ya can’t train them and ya can’t pet them.  If you actually believe that you are a pet owner because you have a tank on display in your den then ya might wanna consider cooking some pasta and weaving me a basket.

YOU HAVE  STUFFED ANIMALS ON YOUR BED:  Unless you work at the dime toss booth at the fair and your bedroom is a closet for the prizes you need to be on some sort of medication.  You are an adult so start acting like one.  Do ya scream for mommy when ya have a bad dream and still play with your Lite Brite when Amanda Bynes won’t answer your tweet?  I hope not.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest….I’m going back to posting pictures on facebook of food I’m about to eat and writing various celebrities to ask for autographed pictures.  THAT’S normal!

 

NECK TATTOO

 

Every day we are confronted with decisions.  Sometimes we make good ones and sometimes we make bad ones.  That’s just the way of life.  I have made MANY mistakes in my time on earth but I can honestly tell you I never woke up and declared “today is the day  will finally get my neck tattoo.”  If I need open heart surgery and Dr. Feelgood has a neck tattoo saying “Delicious” I’m gonna make sure someone else cuts me open.  If I need someone to stand up for me in the court of law I don’t think the guy with “Judge This” on his neck is gonna have any pull with the man in the black robe.

If ya wanna get back in the stupidity line for extra credit then by all means feel free to add a tat on your forehead and maybe a few tear drops beneath your eyes.  See how well that goes over on your interview at a Fortune 500 company.   There are times when these tattoos are actually beneficial.  If I was running a chop shop or was in the market for an arsonist then the guy at the left would be at the top of my list.  Unless you are a porn star then you really should care about what ends up on your face.  I have a lot more to say about this but I’m late for my tongue piercing.