Posts Tagged ‘heaven’

mothers day

So I sit here and ponder; if I was to explain what a “mother” is/was/will be to an alien, what would I say?  I have a gift from God of the ability to write or speak in a way that truly affects people.  I do not have the ability to describe what a mother truly does or is or what they eventually become.  Let me give this a try.

LIFE.  Your mother gave you LIFE.  She made sacrifices beyond belief during her pregnancy.  The sickness.  The pain.  The sleepless nights.  All of this with complete selfishness and her focus on the unknown.  She gave you life and then it comes with the sacrifice of herself.  She never puts herself in a position of importance again.  She will guide you, advise you, teach you, love you, hold you, and basically alter her life in a way that puts her in the trunk of the car.  I, being single and without kids, am in awe of this ultimate act of love and kindness.

SHE ALWAYS WORRIES.  I used to get shitty with my mom for her constant worry for worry really is the focus on negative energy but I now understand that worry is also a sign of love.  Embrace the worry for someday it will not be there until we meet again.

KNOWLEDGE.  I’m 51.  I think I know it all.  I talk to my mother and I always come away with something I didn’t know or realize.  I am not as smart as I think I am and you MUST listen to your mother at all times.  She truly knows the best.  It took me a looooooong time to realize this.

Grab and hold your mother tight today.  If your mother has passed…..relish in the fact that you WILL meet again.  Today is not “just another Sunday.”  Today is Mother’s Day.  It should be a 365 days a year.  Let me close by wishing all the Mom’s out there a wonderful and happy day.  You deserve this, earned this and are appreciated more than you will ever know.  I also must add the fact that I was blessed with the “Greatest Mom In the World.”  I know that those of you reading this will dispute that but that’s part of the wonder of this day.  Mom….thank you for giving me life and your ability to look through my faults and encourage me in my times of trouble.  Happy Mother’s Day to all.

thanksSo my mom is gonna return to work tomorrow and stop babysitting me. For those that don’t know I died and came back.  Saw two more doctors today that were fascinated about heaven and what I saw.  I told them I was embarrassed that I needed to see to believe and I have much work to do to fix what I did in the past.

We all make mistakes….problem for me is that I did not learn from my mistakes….I kept on going not acknowledging the blessings I had received.  I saw a good friend of mine tonite.  First time since I hit rock bottom and died.  He looked stunned….he said “You look great!”  I laughed and said “ I don’t look great….the fact that when you last saw me I looked lost.”

The greatest strength you can gain is admitting your greatest weakness.  My mind is on fire.  I am finally back on the road I always wanted to be.  What I want to tell you is that you can do the same.  Being weak only leads to being strong.  We need to constantly evaluate ourselves.  Never underestimate or fear the laughter of others when you admit to faith and prayer.  I don’t wanna come across as a bible thumper but I do feel I need to share what happens when you die.  I can tell you that I need to improve and I hope you join in my journey.  Thank you for reading.  Tomorrow on the podcast we have plenty of people to make fun of .

Second Chance TwoI went for a walk of a mile and a half today.  This was the first time I walked more than twenty yards at once since September 20, 2015.  Cliff note version for those of you not aware:  Had pneumonia, lead to a heart block, heart rate dropped to twenty-two, died and came back, saw heaven, begged for a second chance, had a pacemaker installed and here I sit today trying to get back on track.  I am a changed person.  Some have called it a spiritual awakening.  I’m not sure what it was but I do know I’m grateful and that I have a specific purpose.   That will come to me through prayer.  More details can be found HERE.

There were some other things that happened during my hospital stay that substantiated that what happened was for a reason.  I like to give people nicknames.  One of my doctor’s at Wellington Regional was quite young.  I called him Doogie Howzer.  He stopped in the one day to see how I was feeling.  I told him my story of dying and coming back and he was hanging on my every word.  He then took my hand, squeezed it and said “You must understand that you have returned for a reason.   I have no doubt that you will do great things.  You must be patient and trust in God.  He will show you the way.”  This freaked me out.  The feeling in the room was more than intense.  He made me feel like his presence in my room was more than just medical it was like he was a spiritual messenger.  Some of you may say “You were on drugs” but I wasn’t.  The only time I was on drugs that affected the mind was when I had my permanent pacemaker installed.

Another time at Wellington Regional one of the doctors that saved my life dropped by.  He insisted I call him “Bo Bo.”  We were talking about what happened and what I saw before they brought me back.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring.  The ring has a cross on it and ten silver “beads.”  It’s a mini-rosary and the beads are for “Hail Mary’s.”    He insisted I take the ring and then he explained how he volunteers with the Knights of Columbus and invited me to join him when I get to feeling better.   I have to be honest.  These events were giving me the chills.  I was never super-religious.  I believed in the Golden Rule and a Supreme Being.  There wasn’t a doubt in my mind at this point that there is so much more waiting for us.

I was transferred to JFK Medical Center for the installation of my pacemaker.  The night before I was released I was transferred out of ICU to a regular room.  I had a male Asian nurse.  His name was June.  He would be off duty at 7AM and around 5AM that morning he came in to run some tests.  I gave him the cliff note version of what happened to me and then he looked at me and said “You are back for a reason.”  He then went on to say every answer you are looking for can be found in the Bible.  He was particularly fond of Revelation and how it applies to things that are happening in the world today.  He told me to just trust in God and you will find your way to your purpose and return to productivity.  At this point I think I said to myself and God “I get it.  Let’s do this.”

Again let me stress that I am not going to be a bible thumper that comes knocking on your door or someone dragging a cross to a street corner so I can scream from scripture.  I still have my cutting, politically incorrect and caustic sense of humor in fact it’s probably stronger and more focused than ever before.  I share these extra details with you so that you may better understand what I went through and how it wasn’t a “coincidence.”

Enjoy your day and the rest of your weekend.  I am working on another podcast I hope to have posted by the end of tomorrow.  Thanks again for your time in reading my blog.

hospital

Three weeks in intensive care.  Six days completely unconscious.  Declared dead but through the grace of God was given a second chance.  Danny talks about some of his experiences in the hospital, his favorite TV commercial right now, why he’s mad at Justin Bieber, a life lesson you can learn from Gary Busey and a lot more.  See if you can hear the difference in his voice.  Just click below.

seond chanceI should be dead.   Let’s start there.  On September 21, 2015 I started to go downhill, healthwise, at a rapid pace.  I was coughing up blood and struggling to catch my breath.   It was late that Monday afternoon when I knew I had to call 911.  I didn’t have the strength to get off the couch and told the 911 operator that the paramedics would have to come through the window.  She stayed on the phone with me until they arrived.  The paramedics worked quickly to remove me from the house and our destination was Wellington Regional.  They were moving at the fastest pace possible so I knew this was serious.  This thought was supported even further when the one in the back of the emergency unit asked me “Why did you wait so long?”

I was unconscious by the time I reached the hospital so I had to fill in the blanks by questioning my doctors and medical staff.  I had pneumonia.  This caused a heart block.  My heart rate fell to 22.  My other organs were slowly shutting down.  My mother was contacted late that Monday evening and the doctors were honest with her;  They didn’t know if I would make it through the night.  I would remain unconscious, hooked to wires and machines, for the next six days.

I may be ridiculed, by some, for what I share with you next.  Let me preface what I am about to tell you by giving you a bit of background of my religious beliefs and upbringing.  I was raised Catholic.  I stopped going to church a long time ago.  I believed in a Supreme Being and an after-life.  I was never one to read the Bible or one to devote much of my time to prayer.  Now let me share with you what I learned.

There is a heaven.  I know because I was outside the doors.  I begged God for another chance;  for the ability to make a difference and use the talents He has given me.  I begged Him for forgiveness and promised that I would use a second chance to make a difference in my life and attempt to do the same in the lives of others.

When I finally regained consciousness I was told that I did actually “die and come back.”   My mother mentioned that when I was fighting to regain consciousness I kept saying “I’m sorry.  I am so sorry. Please give me another chance.”  Physically I was very sick but spiritually this was an awakening and something that has changed my life.

I learned the heart block caused damage to my heart and I would need a pacemaker.  On Monday September 29, 2015 I was transferred from Wellington Regional to JFK Medical Center, a hospital known for their cardiac care.   One week after my transfer and NUMEROUS tests, pills and pokes my permanent pacemaker was installed on Monday October 5, 2015.  Yesterday, October 6, 2015 I was finally discharged and returned home.

I am on the road to recovery.  I pop more pills on a daily basis than Keith Richards does.  I can’t drive for another two weeks and I follow up with two doctors next week.  I need to take and log my blood pressure and pulse on a daily basis.  Having been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder and general anxiety disorder this is the least of my problems in fact I just did it five minutes ago and of course I logged all the numbers into my computer.   Yesterday was the first day since September 21st that I was on my feet and moving around for an extended period of time.   It’s both amazing and embarrassing at the things I took for granted. So many people showed concern for me and for that I am drastically humbled and forever grateful.  I have been given a second chance and I plan on delivering on my promise to make a difference.  We all face struggles on a daily basis.  Some days are better than others but I don’t think God gives us anything we can’t handle or is without reason and purpose.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I truly believe that what happened to me has a purpose.  You reading this blog entry is part of my spiritual mission.  Thank you for your time, concern, understanding and support.  Enjoy the rest of your day.