Posts Tagged ‘TV’

trash

Danny comes clean about pot smoking, Satan is in Boca, someone gets bit in the scrotum and lots more.  Just Click Below to Listen.

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I ask a lot of questions.  Perhaps because I am confused about a lot of things.  On my weekly podcast we do a segment called “Three Things I don’t understand”   It could easily be twenty as I wander around periodically in my slippers and sweats in Wal-Mart (sadly I fit in).

Here are five things that escaped our editing meeting this week but I believe are worth discussing:

  • AT THE END OF THE DAY: I think it would be lawful to allow people to punch those that say this.  “At the end of the day” I am running to my car and leaving the nuthouse commonly called “work.”  If you have to wait until the “end of the day” to make progress in your business then it’s gonna fail and your manager should be a mime on the streets of New York doing the “caught in a box” routine.

 

  • PEOPLE THAT SAY “ME, PERSONALLY: Isn’t that an oxy-moron?  Like “Holy War?” For once I would like to hear someone say “Me, as my second personality Diana, that chain smokes cigarettes and enjoys a stuffed raccoon as a garnish to my Thanksgiving turkey,” That would put me at ease.

 

  • SUPER VORTEX RADAR: Radar on TV stations is getting out of control.  Get rid of the fancy names and tell me…..follow closely on this….if it will rain or snow.  That’s it.  Job done.  I don’t need a satellite picture because I am not living in the space station.

 

  • RECYCLING: I recycle but I wonder if I am pissing up a drape.   The recycle truck grabs my stuff and then runs away.  Where do they go?  Do they sort all this shit again, turn a crank and kick out a front door of a Prism?  Or do they throw them all in the dump, laugh uncontrollably and exhale second-hand smoke into innocent bystanders.

 

  • ISLAM EXPERTS ON TV:   When I see these people I think one thing:    Who makes a living knowing what bad people may do?  They scare me.  It appears they have some inside information and if they are in training learning to fly it would not surprise me.  One more thing:  Never trust an Islam Expert that doesn’t have a turban on his head, a stick cane, and lives in a cave.   That is not fear, that is credibility.

shit

Something has happened to me within the past year……I just don’t give a shit anymore.  Now don’t assume that I don’t care because that is totally different.  I think the greatest strength one can have is to admit and address their greatest weakness.  Looking back at my mistakes in life (and I have made more than most people) I realize that the majority of them were made because I actually gave a shit about what people thought of me (that and too many shots).

When you give a shit you tend to get angry with people that don’t agree with you or question what you say.  Getting dropped as a friend on Facebook is a great example.  There are people out there that react to this action like a loved one was injured in a car crash.  Telemarketers are another great example.  I used to have a meltdown when they would call even though I registered on the “do not call list” (it’s run by our government so why would you expect it to be effective?).  I now look forward to these calls and using my creativity and mind to frustrate them to the point that they raise their voice and/or hang up.  Then I laugh like Vincent Price at the end of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”

So what do I care about?  My mother, my faith in God, kindness, empathy, unselfishness, being polite, respecting your elders, TV and cold beer to name a few.  I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I don’t give a shit who ya vote for and I really don’t give a shit what ya made for dinner and posted on Facebook.  I used to have a terrible temper which leads to anger and usually then to yelling or screaming.  We all have done it but step back for a moment and think about when you witness others doing it.  It affects their credibility and even if they are correct they give the impression that they aren’t confident in their opinion.  If they did they would relish in the concept of getting others to, as my father used to say, scream and yell like a “raped ape.”

Now there are situations where you may not give a shit but they suddenly turn into a situation you care about.  A good example of this is those that text and drive.  If they happen to drive off a bridge, land in a canal and become an afternoon snack for an alligator I really don’t give a shit.  If they rear end an innocent party and that person ends up looking like they were arrested by the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Department then I care.

Life is a strange, unpredictable and a stressful journey.  What you think matters in the moment usually will not matter in the future.  Want to know what really puts everything in perspective?  Bury a parent, a child or anyone you love.  We all are here for a reason and it’s not to have a big house, expensive car, eat at a fancy restaurant or have a three hundred dollar purse (My wallet cost twenty bucks and I think I have six bucks in it and three quarters in my pants…….which I never wear at home).  There ARE bad ideas in brainstorming (think Crystal Pepsi).  People that say “I want you to be honest” really mean “I want you to agree with me.”  I have learned that those that say that to you actually are insecure of their own beliefs and abilities.   Feel free to disagree with me but just know that I really don’t give a shit.

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Politics can be boring but Danny found quite a bit to make fun of last night.  We tell the truth and sometimes it isn’t pretty.  Click below to listen.

wacky radio listener

Danny starts by telling a story of how his mother tries to regulate what he eats and then it just takes off from there.  Click below to listen.