carolina

I promised I would tell what happened to get banned for life,  from the Charlotte airport and probably placed on the Homeland Security Watch List.  I was on my way to Cleveland to buy a condo.  I searched for seven months and was gonna pay cash.  We had a 4PM appointment
In Cleveland at 8AM I had a beer and a pizza, got on the plane and we got there twenty minutes,  I of course went to the food court which wasn’t a good idea.  I have been open about my mental illness as I have depressed, bi-polar, OCD, general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder.  I am on Xanax and bunch of meds but the biggest concern is my anxiety,  It’s not at all like being nervous it’s the feeling of death, doom and destruction,  It’s the only think in life that truly scares me.
So now I’m in a crowded food court and I can feel it coming on,  I knew this would be a big one.I saw three policeman standing around doing nothing and I ran to them and said “I’m about to suffer a hug panic attack get me out of here fast,”  Cop said “You’re probably nervous about flying.”  I told them nothing scares me more and it’s gonna get bad fast,  They ignored me as some sort of nut and I lost it.  I quickly slammed two Xanax and tried to get me out of the food court.  That got the cops attention and they tackled me in  the lobby.  After a length conversation they told me I was scaring passengers and I would be leaving at 5:06PM.  I told them “Fuck that I have a house to buy,”They then informed me I was to leave the airport and not return with an “administrator” or I would be arrested.
I left the airport to get my shrink on the phone because I figure after 9 years of treating me he would make a good “administrator,”  I even entered the airport with a police officer but those three we waiting for me,  Handcuffs, leg shackles and they carried me past the boarding passengers.  I took the opportunity to explain to people this was police brutality, mental abuse, lack of training and wished them a good flight.
I was taken to a room still in shackles and handcuffs and was told I could either go to jail or the hospital.  I told these cops I was tired with their lack of knowledge let’s go to the loony bin.  I got there at 4PM, oddly enough when I should be buying my condo.  Medical staff was great but after four hours I was impatient.  I asked the guy “what’s going on?”  He replied I had to talk to two psychologists to decide they were going to keep me.  KEEP ME????  I informed him that would not go well and waited for the phone call,  A nice lady called about an hour later and based on my answers to my questions I was fine.  Now I had to wait for the next guy,  We did this on Skype and his diagnosis was the same;  I suffer from severe anxiety but ,  I lost two dear friends in the last two months and I have a bit I’m not a harm to myself or others,  I was dismissed and had no place to go,  I thought I was dreaming so I took off my show and threw it at a lady sleeping in waiting room figuring I’d wake up and all she did was yell at me.
I spent the day in the hospital waiting for my poor mom to fly out, rent a car and drive 900 miles back to West Palm.  I have a sickness but it has helped me laugh at myself and be the unpredictable person I am.  However, events like these make me go deeper and deeper into the bat cave.  I also lost two very dear friends in the past two months,  They were 54.  This has caused me a bit of survivor’s remorse.
I’m starting to believe that I truly live in DANNYLAND and my mission in life is to write that book,  Thanks for your time in reading  this piece,  It means a great deal to me.

 

 

 

Image  —  Posted: May 20, 2018 in Uncategorized

heaven

Death.  It encompasses so many emotions.  Sadness, grief, anger and fear to mention a few.  This past weekend I lost a dear friend to death as he passed away suddenly at the young age of fifty four.  Ironically we had a conversation just three days before passing.  We laughed at our differences in political beliefs, jointly expressed our distain for Anderson Cooper and had a conversation about death.

Three years ago this September I came as close to death as one can.  I was in a coma for six days and being kept alive by a series of machines and cables.  I saw things so beautiful and peaceful that there are no words to provide them justice.  I am not penning this piece to urge you to go to church or sell all your belongings.  I can tell you without doubt that are journey does not end here.

When we cry at death but to who are those tears actually flowing for?  I know it is natural because one that you love and care for so much has left this level.  IF only we had the strength and courage to know that we will see our dearly departed again on a level that is incomprehensible in our present world.

I am not a church goer or a bible thumper.  I am just a regular guy that happened to see the next step in our journey that is truly amazing.  This doesn’t mean we should live a care-free lifestyle.  On the contrary we should take time to observe and listen.  Don’t be so quick to get angry with someone you disagree with.  Try to learn something new every day.  I truly believe that life is quite similar to when you were in school.  We are handed many challenges and hurdles every day that don’t make sense yet they all serve a purpose.  It may take days, years or a lifetime to figure them out but the answer is there.  You have to put aside your emotions and open your mind and heart and pray for understanding.

The test will end someday my friends and I believe with all my heart that is when we are ready for the next level.  Take solace in your loss and heartfelt pain in knowing your loved one is in a much better place watching you as YOU learn what they already know.  Thanks for reading and look for your lesson that will appear before you today.

cleveland

I always knew I was different.  When I was a teenager I was afraid to go to the counter at McDonalds and place an order for fear I would get it wrong or they would laugh at me.  Humor became the perfect mask.  If I could make people laugh they would not see my faults.  I fell in love with radio.  That “mystery man” behind the mic that would talk to me,  I wanted, and got, that life.  Although I was very successful I was running from an illness and eventually I crashed in February of 2011.

I have OCD, am bi-polar, suffer from depression and severe social anxiety disorder.  I have been in therapy for nine years and my doctor saved my life.  Depression is not just “being in a bad mood.”  It’s a feeling of all other options running out and desperation.  It makes suicide seem logical (as illogical as that may seem).  So how did I do my job, be successful at it, and hide it from everyone?  It started with alcohol.  It gave me the courage to walk in a room, size people up, and own it.  At an event I would continue to drink to feed the monster that wanted to come out.  When that wasn’t enough I turned to drugs.  Self medicating was the way I solved my problems before I found help.  I was never a druggie in high school or college or in my early adult life but I can honestly say I became an addict.  I have learned that addiction is a terrible disease and through the help of my therapist he has taught me how to control it and not let it control me.

I also found out that it’s okay to be scared.  I don’t have all the answers to the tribulations we face in life but in 2015 I was in a coma for six days because I almost let that monster inside of me win.  That was rock bottom for me.  For the past seven years I have concentrated on fixing myself.  For some reason God has let me survive to fulfill a specific mission that I have yet to discover.  I have been blessed to actually see what awaits us.  That first night in my coma the doctors were sure I would not see the morning.  I truly am someone that got a second chance and that, among other reasons, is why I have decided to go home to Cleveland.  It is my sincere hope that others that may have these feelings know they are not alone.  My mom says I tell everyone everything and have no filter.  She is correct but no one can appreciate the success without tasting the failure.  Every new day is a blessing and there is no guarantee.  Thank you for reading this and remember “never give up.”

grope

You have NEVER heard this side of the story.  This is my friend that I have known for twenty years and we explore what one does next after being falsely accused.

mooch

We talk The Mootch, dogs, OJ, Shark Week, Michael Phelps, banning home, your e-mails and more.  Just click below to listen.